Ghosting. Believe it or not, this is actually a word. It doesn’t involve the souls with unresolved grudges, but rather a different kind of ghosting.
According to Urban Dictionary, “Ghosting is the act of suddenly stopping all communication with someone that the subject is dating but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just get the hint and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the ghoster simply telling them that he/she is no longer interested.” It’s quite a long definition, but I think the perfect explanation for ghosting is something that douche bags do.
You know, when this guy doesn’t want to go on the dating stage, he just disappears like a freaking bubble and hoping the girl would just understand why. What’s good with that? I mean, you can just politely tell the truth that you don’t want to do this anymore. We’re strong, I’m pretty sure we will get over it sooner than you ever expected. But, ghosting? Really.
Anyway, there might be some gals (or maybe guys too) who’s probably wondering if you have just been ghosted. To confirm your suspicions, I’ve listed some signs that you are one of us.
- Cold treatment
If he/she showed you that everything is okay between the two of you before you part, then he/she started treating you different after the both of you got home.
Say, the last message he sent you was “Take care :)” or “Thank you :)”, no more questions like are you home already? Have you eaten? Are you okay? Bes, I saw the sign. This is it, you’ve been ghosted. He’s trying to get rid of you already! Ouch!
- No more communications
Well, this doesn’t exactly mean you’ve been ghosted already. He/she maybe busy at the moment, but not all the time of course. You’ll know you’ve been ghosted when you see him making activities in his social media accounts just recently and he haven’t even texted or called you since the last day you’ve been together. That means he has time, but he has no intention of giving you a bit of that. Double ouch!
- When he asked if can be comfortable around you just for a day.
Yep, that’s possible. Someone really does that, trust me, I have proof!
This could mean two things, (1) he just wants to see if the two of you have the so-called sparks and (2) he just want to feel like in a relationship for a while, or what we call short-time flirting.
He might lean on your shoulder, hold your hand, and wrap his arms around you. But don’t be fooled by those gestures, girl! He’s probably thinking of another girl while doing that. Triple ouch!
- If he’s still posting stuff about his past lover.
Even if you tell me that you knew in the first place that he’s still in love with his past lover, that doesn’t deny that fact that he just tried to use you to get over with it. And no one deserves to be treated like a rebound!
If after the both of you had a date or spent time together, and after that you see him posting some quotes or song lyrics which do not really pertain to you, then he just used you. He just wants to ghost you. Because if he’s really serious about you, he wouldn’t even let you know he’s still thinking about her.
Alright, enough with these knives already! I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who earned a positive result in this one. But don’t worry, there’s still an advantage to it. This guy saved us from a worse heartbreak that we might have experienced if we still pursued it.
I’ll be giving some tips about how to recover from ghosting in my next post. Tune in, fellas!
From the girl who was never too brave,